Come What May

surqrised:

“I think you lost all interest in this world. You were disappointed and discouraged, and lost interest in everything. So you abandoned your physical body. You went to a world apart and you’re living a different kind of life there. In a world inside you.”

— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

It’s hard to explain

Grieving the spouse that lies right beside you. You miss the relationship you had. No longer are their cuddle moments, or kisses over and over.

Chronic illness steals a partner. Changes them. They become withdrawn…in return you withdraw. Boundaries become unknown. Can I touch him? Not today? Maybe tomorrow? Ever? I guess I will wait for him to reach for me. You wait.

Days without physical contact become weeks, months and now years. Til death do we part. For better or for worse. A promise is a promise. It’s not his fault.

Date nights don’t exist. Way to painful or tired to commit to such things. I’m fine…I don’t hurt…. but I will be understanding. I would say maybe next time… except i already know better.

Chronic illness is an evil demon that haunts your relationship. It makes your partner sick enough and depressed enough to shove you off to the side. You aren’t their priority.. the demon is. It’s louder, more demanding. It knows you’ll step aside. It knows it’s victim will commit and succumb.

The demon actually has two victims. You are also a victim. You will cry at night, watching your spouse sleep. You will sit there wishing you could remember how their touch felt. You reminisce about flirting and lying wrapped up in each other all night. The memories are there but you know that’s all you have going forward.

Chronic illness claims your relationship. The demon makes plans, dictates holidays, shoves out friends, destroys finances and careers. The demon controls the healthy spouse too.

The healthy spouse takes responsibilities on alone. Bills, taxes, appointments, kids, jobs, income, grocery shopping, housekeeping…. the healthy spouse is quietly unhealthy. Unlike the spouse with chronic illness…this spouse suffers in silence. No time to break down…no time to cry…you have commitments. You make everything look effortless.

This is the other side of chronic illness…this is the life of “the healthy spouse”. They’re probably not ok. They’re probably desperate for the relationship they once new. The partner they once had. The life they thought they married into. The friend they now don’t know.

This is person is fiercely loyal. They stand by the love of their life but not without sacrifice. They are the ones that are forced to uphold those vows said when rings were exchanged.

Be kind to these spouses. They’re tired. They’re lonely. They need to know they’re not forgotten.

sea-wolfie:

No one should have to beg for love

(via sea-wolfie-deactivated20221028)

redrola:

islamicrays:

To all husbands:

You still have to flirt with her even if she’s already yours.

Read that again.

-Qasim Rafique

curiano-life-quotes:

Curiano Quotes Life - #LifeQuote, Love Quotes, Life #Quotes, Live #Life #Quote, and Letting Go Quotes. Visit this blog now Curiano.com

(via psychofactz)

(via mossyoakswampdonkey-deactivated)

(via mossyoakswampdonkey-deactivated)